How To Survive Thanksgiving

Grab your cornucopias and eat as much as humanely possible because it’s the time of year that we have all been waiting for: Thanksgiving, or as I like to call it, Pre-Christmas.

Now, Thanksgiving is the day that us Americans celebrate how thankful we are for all that we have by indulging in our own gluttony. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore Thanksgiving. I get to eat as much as I want without feeling guilty (and of course pretend I refrain from eating like that on a daily basis), wear a cute outfit that is way overdressed for a dinner with family and friends that I totally haven’t been planning for months, and of course, be with the ones that I love as we all share our gratitude for the things in life that we have.

This year, my husband and I are going to try to make it to three different Thanksgiving dinners without falling over completely from a fully induced food coma. So, I am going to share a few helpful tips for this lovely Thanksgiving day that are sure to help you and me eat our way through the day.

  1. First of all, I would not advise that you eat breakfast. I know, “breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” but it is very important to keep yourself fully hungry for the first meal.
  2. You will also need to make sure that you are wearing an outfit that has room to breathe because there is no room for constrictions on a day like today.
  3. Make sure that you have prepared your standard catch phrases for when family and friends ask you all those questions that they ask you every time they see you.
  4. Refresh your mind on some great adventures that you went on during the past year to share with friends and family to make everyone feel like you are actually doing something with your life. My husband even suggested making some up if you have to.
  5. Keep your phone fully charged for those times in between conversation when you need to check up on if anyone else is having a better Thanksgiving than you.
  6. Be unyielding in taking pictures so that you can plaster them all over your social media sites to make people think your actually enjoying yourself.
  7. Always remember that your eyes are bigger than your stomach. This one always gets me and I tend to overload my plate with way too much food and then I am left depressed thinking about the food that I might have to waste.
  8. Pace yourself on the alcohol and also be knowledgeable about which types of alcohol affect your ability to eat. For example, beer has a tendency to fill your stomach because it is carbonated; however, a nice glass of wine will not but you will have to be cautious because wine also makes you tired.
  9. If your family is anything like mine, they will have the football game up in the living room and it is your responsibility to stay up to date on the current score and if there were any plays worth remembering.
  10. Finally, have fun and remember to be thankful. This day is about so much more than eating. It is about spending time with the ones that you love and the ones that you might only see once a year because when the day is done and you are left in your food coma, you will be pondering the memories that the past twenty-four hours entailed  and you will wish you could do it all over again.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Gobble, gobble.

UPDATE: I followed none of these tips and still had a fantastic Thanksgiving. I hope you all did too! Here’s to decking the halls because it’s time to start counting down to Christmas! 🍻❄️ 

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